I believe it’s important to go through a season of humility, to confront yourself with the grimy, uncomfortable realities of human nature. I have been ruminating about this for awhile, and I believe the longer we sit on our sins and let them turn unapologetic, the further we get from redemption. The air seems a little hazy, so here is my letter to clear it.
Dear Person I Have Hurt*,
I’m not sure where you are in life. Maybe I saw a glimpse on Instagram. Are you pursuing your big dreams and wild plans? Are you using your enviable gifts? I truly hope so. I’m writing after all this time to say I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that you knew me at my most immature, most vain, and proudest self. I’m sorry that I wasn’t thoughtful or considerate towards you, that I unfairly projected my own insecurities on you. I’m sorry I judged you, that I wrote you like a character, like a future story to be told, that I didn’t let you deviate from. I’m sorry if I ever manipulated you, or gossiped about you, or was unkind. I’m sorry that I couldn’t have been more for you, or the even the very least, loving. I’m sorry that I promised you community, but didn’t devote myself to fighting my own selfishness for it. I’m sorry that I cared more about myself and retaining my victimized perception. I’m sorry I couldn’t see past your mistakes, the way I so blindly did my own.
I’m most sorry that I never saw you for what you are. A precious child of God, His most valuable treasure, His perfect creation, His beloved one. I never valued or affirmed that, committing a great disservice for which I am ashamed. You deserved love.
Just to clear the air, you are remarkable. You are not your past, and I hope in time, I am not mine.
With the upmost sincerity and responsibility,
Maggie
*not for anyone in particular, but rather all the friends we lose along the way